Grief and Seasons …..

An image of white snow and black trees

How much I have missed the Winter…

Yesterday we had a beautiful surprise of snowfall, flakes large enough to catch on my tongue – a moment of Joy during a time of intense grieving

Hurricane Helene left her mark on our beautiful community of Asheville NC and surrounding areas, homes, businesses, lives, trees, trails, the devastation is so glaring especially to those of us who grew up here in what was a very safe, serene and beautiful oasis. It’s been almost two months since the storm hit. September 26th ! No one was prepared. No power, no cell phones, and days later no water for over a month! Water was resumed on the 18th of September. It was deemed safe enough to shower in and consume. For me, and I think for many others, the water does not taste safe. I will continue to drink bottled or spring water and to cook with these instead of consuming them.

The day after the Water was deemed safe, my heart while not keeping up with the grief, exploded into sobs which turned into physical heaving and a need to reach out to someone to share this grief. God, in his infinite wisdom, gave me the courage to contact a friend, who was just the person to let me process some of this grief in the form of tears. I imagine it will take some time before we are able to process all of it and before we feel truly safe again in our homes from the next wind or torrential rain event.


Four Season Girl

Spring is a happy time that beckons all to plant, explore, enjoy the outdoors and the color of green is all around us dotted with flowers in every shade and the birds as they find their way back to our feeders, baths and ponds

Summer is a time for travel, vacation, cleaning out the excess visit the beaches for a swim and shell seeking OR float down the French Broad River in a canoe or kayak quietly and enjoy its ebb and flow while looking for the Eagle, Herron or Egret (please NO tubing with boom boxes and beer – it’s disturbing to those of us who love the serenity floating down the river brings.)

Autumn is a time to walk the trails and mountains and absorb the last explosion of colors red, orange, yellow and greens in all the trees that one can see on any given day

Winter a time to slow down and look inward – bake, bask in the shorter days and rest more while still awaiting for a much desired snowfall and its silence and cleanliness as it blankets the trees and eventually the ground as if it to clean the air, the trees and the earth


Spring – White Trillium- Photo: Anita Adams, NCTreesPhotography.com

Summer – Mountain Stream – Photo by Anita Adams, NCTreesPhotography.com

Grief may be a necessary part of the human existence... and we all experience and express it in different ways. I thank you for sharing mine with me. Praying for all.

Autumn – Japanese Maple Tree in all the Beautiful Colours by Anita Adams, NCTreesPhotography.com

Winter – This photo was taken of the last REAL snowfall in 2022 – Crisp, White, Blanket of Snow 5″ deep or more. It’s silence is an invitation to be quiet and enjoy or play if you wish. Photo: Anita Adams, NCTreesPhotography.com

Grief and Joy
One couldn’t exist without the other
As we all move forward
into the Holy Days (Holidays)
Smile more to the Stranger
Look into the Eyes of those we meet and live with it every day
Don’t forget to say I love you to those you love
Hug a Tree and squeeze it again for me. ~Anita

Still here

in stillness I sit

bluebird comes to the bath outside my window

beautiful is she

daffodils are blooming on the bank and it’s February

pond is flowing with the sounds of trickle trickle

pines stand tall at the top of the hill, firmly rooted

Still here Still here

Life and all that’s in it isStill here

~Anita Adams 1/29/2023

Good Friday Reflections and more

Tell me what I missed….

Today – I missed the basking in the warmth of the sun

Yesterday – I missed a walk in the evening

A Year ago – I missed celebrating Good Friday with my Mom

Missing the smiles behind the masks, the hugs from those I know and love, and those I like, but know not – yet

All the moments and hugs from my grandsons from September 2020 until now

Life and its fluidity

Making the most of those moments and grateful for the comforts I have – a partner, a home, eyes that see, ability to feel with my heart and mirror the love back that’s been gifted to me.

Prayers that go something like this….

I am Tree

Tiny seed placed in the ground

Watered and nurtured with sunlight

God’s spirit poured out on me

Help me grow a little at a time

Roots clinging to the earth

Filled with the Spirit

Nourished with nutrients to grow

Branches stretched up toward the Heavens

Swaying in the wind

Dancing, singing with birds and bees

Giving thanks to our Creator

Singing songs like I Believe

Thank you – Love, Me

©Anita Adams 2021

Fine?

Monday

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

Abscess discovered – root canal scheduled – yikes!

How’s your day

Fine you say

By the way, what does ‘fine’ mean

Not rough – boring- painful – just like yesterday

My day began and ended with an abscess

Now, it ends with a sigh – a record – relaxation and perhaps a giggle

It will not end with Fine

~ Anita Adams 1/18/2021

This Tree – Anita’s Tree was cut down from the Biltmore Grounds and a Sapling was planted. I wish the Sapling well. And I bid this beautiful Meadow Oak farewell.

Dreaming….

flying without wings

through the air

through the trees

through a cloud

over the pond

glimpse the frog

land on a log

flying side by side with lady dragonfly

turning stones in the creek

scoop one up and fly it home

fly so fast

land on land at last

Dreaming.

Cloudless

is the sky

blue is the heaven

new is the day

fresh is the air

wind in her hair

song in her heart

~ Anita 2/2020

Bamboo Heaven

Unravel

Confusion

iritation

hostage

mitigation

conclusion

one day at a time

the answer to all frustrations

breathe

believe

let go of the unseen

“What was once, is no more, what’s more, is gone to sleep behind the shadows.”

©Anita Adams 2019

Earth Day

a day to remember the precious ground upon which our feet trod and the grass or sand that covers it

a day to get hands dirty, pulling weeds, trimming trees, listening to the water as it tumbles into the stream

find a place of stillness and go within, a face in the sun, a face in the wind

say thank you and plant another tree, flower, bush, or seed

enjoy your earth, your garden, your tree

Paul’s Garden

Grief

How can I live here with all this grief…

… with all these memories and little relief?

How can I live here without being?

How can I live here and still breathe?

Faith. Trust. A hug. A hand. A shared prayer.

… Just Believe – He answered, He appeared.

© Anita Adams 5/7/2018

Signed - Jesus Walking along the Shore of Hatteras

Dream Seeker

 

Dreams, like clouds

visible to the eye

just out of reach

time to pull the clouds down

step on them like a magic carpet

flying high above the pines

to foreign lands and islands

painting rainbows in the sky

smiling all the while

until my heart calls me back to the ground

to play in the sand

find my oak tree

and lay my head down

© Anita Adams 2018