Grief has arrived and with it every day and night is different
Someone I loved has left this earth, this one was my ‘Momma’ – the Matriarch – the Queen Bee
She left peacefully, surrounded by those closest to her that loved her completely
Music played in the her bedroom – familiar songs of ‘Mack the Knife’ ‘Moon River’ and more – songs she danced to just a few months ago
She became young again before our eyes – her complexion was radiant – not a wrinkle in sight – eyes closed, Dad said she looks likes she’s 40 years old
the Minutes, Hours, Days and now, Weeks that she’s been Gone from Our Sight have been filled with Memories, Conversations, Disbelief and questions of What now?
I communicate not only through my thoughts with her, but in writing, I don’t believe I’ve been able to still my mind enough to connect with God, yet, I have had chats with my Mom. Perhaps she is the conduit, the Angel who is here to share with me more before her voice’s whisper is also heard less and less?
In my minds’ eye, I see Momma in Heaven – gloriously radiant, dressed in a long white gown with gold light surrounding her as she now adjusts to her new environment in Heaven. She’s dancing with her daughter, my sister, Roxane, other friends and relatives effortlessly and joyfully. She’s home. Knowing that she is joyful and at peace, gives me a peaceful feeling that she is truly home.
Momma and I (2023)
Rest in Peace Momma – Ama tua figlia (Love your daughter)
Yesterday we had a beautiful surprise of snowfall, flakes large enough to catch on my tongue – a moment of Joy during a time of intense grieving
Hurricane Helene left her mark on our beautiful community of Asheville NC and surrounding areas, homes, businesses, lives, trees, trails, the devastation is so glaring especially to those of us who grew up here in what was a very safe, serene and beautiful oasis. It’s been almost two months since the storm hit. September 26th ! No one was prepared. No power, no cell phones, and days later no water for over a month! Water was resumed on the 18th of September. It was deemed safe enough to shower in and consume. For me, and I think for many others, the water does not taste safe. I will continue to drink bottled or spring water and to cook with these instead of consuming them.
The day after the Water was deemed safe, my heart while not keeping up with the grief, exploded into sobs which turned into physical heaving and a need to reach out to someone to share this grief. God, in his infinite wisdom, gave me the courage to contact a friend, who was just the person to let me process some of this grief in the form of tears. I imagine it will take some time before we are able to process all of it and before we feel truly safe again in our homes from the next wind or torrential rain event.
Four Season Girl
Spring is a happy time that beckons all to plant, explore, enjoy the outdoors and the color of green is all around us dotted with flowers in every shade and the birds as they find their way back to our feeders, baths and ponds
Summer is a time for travel, vacation, cleaning out the excess visit the beaches for a swim and shell seeking OR float down the French Broad River in a canoe or kayak quietly and enjoy its ebb and flow while looking for the Eagle, Herron or Egret (please NO tubing with boom boxes and beer – it’s disturbing to those of us who love the serenity floating down the river brings.)
Autumn is a time to walk the trails and mountains and absorb the last explosion of colors red, orange, yellow and greens in all the trees that one can see on any given day
Winter a time to slow down and look inward – bake, bask in the shorter days and rest more while still awaiting for a much desired snowfall and its silence and cleanliness as it blankets the trees and eventually the ground as if it to clean the air, the trees and the earth
Spring – White Trillium- Photo: Anita Adams, NCTreesPhotography.com
Summer – Mountain Stream – Photo by Anita Adams, NCTreesPhotography.com
Autumn – Japanese Maple Tree in all the Beautiful Colours by Anita Adams, NCTreesPhotography.com
Winter – This photo was taken of the last REAL snowfall in 2022 – Crisp, White, Blanket of Snow 5″ deep or more. It’s silence is an invitation to be quiet and enjoy or play if you wish. Photo: Anita Adams, NCTreesPhotography.com
Grief and Joy One couldn’t exist without the other As we all move forward into the Holy Days (Holidays) Smile more to the Stranger Look into the Eyes of those we meet and live with it every day Don’t forget to say I love you to those you love Hug a Tree and squeeze it again for me. ~Anita
all the while there are those around them – praying, comforting, believing they are ready to let go, telling themselves that this is the way he or she would want to go
gurgling, heart pounding, seeking oxygen
here comes another shot of morephine
asking themselves while holding their breath is this when he/she will let go
is this really how he/she or I would really like to let go
a hole is inside of me – my breath is shallower than normal, I have to remember to breathe
she said she was ready
he never said so in those concrete words I’m ready to go
Called to Write 