a simple question has rested on my desk for a year or more –
it reads Where am I headed? – a great question. These are my reflections today….
Where am I headed?
Hours turn into days
days into weeks
weeks into months
time, tasks, memories and dreams are all that are left
an invisible bag of dreams
photographic and emotional memories
with no where to go, no where to run – except to God
Trail at Max Patch ~ Anita of NC Trees Photography.com
as I stand at the foot of the mountain or a day of enormous work demands- before I climb – I pause, take a deep breath and pray to the Divine – ‘Guide me – I do not know where or what you want of me – Guide me’
exercising my body and mind – I follow a schedule and take each moment as it comes…
…. when moments of laughter or joy surface – I give in and embrace these as a miracle
when tears fall, I let them flow
at the end of the day, I see that I made it through another day – unscathed, stronger or softer, more open than closed, more grateful than not – perhaps, the answer to the question: Where am I headed? is this – Awareness and Gratitude for all the Blessings seen and felt.
misuse of words in a sentence to describe something else
memory loss when scrambling to complete a task
finishing a painting or coloring a photo, and all that’s left to choose from is the color brown
cracks in the sidewalk
holes on a paved city street or country gravel road where the water has filled them up with rain, dirt and gravel
Potholes
… when knowing and remembering collide and stop one in their tracks
. . . like recalling one’s name, a favorite book, poem, song, and it’s attached to some invisible thread so fine that no one can see it, and you pray for the memory to return, the brain to be restored
when confined small spaces either mentally or physically cause one to hold their breath
when another way fails to present itself
when the prescribed medication turns into an addiction and you choose to continue to struggle for your memory each day and live, rather than be held hostage to the drug that’s coursing through your veins and wants you to take your life
when the scale has jumped ten pounds and clothing is too tight
when there’s no bread on the bread aisle even though you may not eat it, it makes you cry for those who do
when the rain falls from the sky full of acid and destroys the evergreens
when officials believe the Black lives don’t matter
when others are starving and we have plenty to share even if the bread shelves are empty
when the innocent are incarcerated without evidence or killed because of the color of one’s skin
What then?
heart cries out HELP to the one who resides within – and soon the cry becomes a prayer
and one day the prayer is answered by the one within with a question: What took you so long?
relaxed and assured – I know now – Enough is Enough
Restrictions on how close we can be to one another – 6 feet apart
An Invisible Virus kills thousands within months
Schools and Jobs are closed
Underneath this though is the Robin outside my office window looking for nest building material and eating his morning worms
Flowers bloom on the Cherry Tree
And Daffodils and Forsythia burst into a variety of shades of Gold, Yellow and Orange
Goldfish swim happily in the pond and the Frogs return
The grass is green and covered with dew
The sky looks bluer and the clouds are ever changing
Peace be still reads a sign I’ve noticed often outside of a small church on my way to work
When the very, very small things become noticeable – even the ant walking across the pavement makes me smile and remember being a child in awe and wonder
Playing scrabble with my husband and night becomes a time of anticipated joy
Knowing that my children are safe and checking on neighbors and friends from all over the world there is time for.
Love is returning. The earth is breathing again.
As week 1 passes, faith and prayer grow stronger along with gratitude and a deeper sense of global community. – We are all One!