a simple question has rested on my desk for a year or more –
it reads Where am I headed? – a great question. These are my reflections today….
Where am I headed?
Hours turn into days
days into weeks
weeks into months
time, tasks, memories and dreams are all that are left
an invisible bag of dreams
photographic and emotional memories
with no where to go, no where to run – except to God
as I stand at the foot of the mountain or a day of enormous work demands- before I climb – I pause, take a deep breath and pray to the Divine – ‘Guide me – I do not know where or what you want of me – Guide me’
exercising my body and mind – I follow a schedule and take each moment as it comes…
…. when moments of laughter or joy surface – I give in and embrace these as a miracle
when tears fall, I let them flow
at the end of the day, I see that I made it through another day – unscathed, stronger or softer, more open than closed, more grateful than not – perhaps, the answer to the question: Where am I headed? is this – Awareness and Gratitude for all the Blessings seen and felt.
Ethel Marie Shamoon Henry, married and Catholic, daughter of two and Situ to one, died age 89 of complications while agonizing over the last pages of her memoir. She couldn’t remember the details upon which she left her home at age 16, mentally or 17, physically? She never understood her life not turning out the way she dreamed – college educated, managing her own business, traveling the globe. Ethel was tired.
She was tired of this story. Tired of her life without the
education she longed for and the places she wanted to live and traveled after
she’d raised her own children, she was just tired!
Her REAL exhaustion came when she decided to prepare her own obituary and thought to herself – dang woman – haven’t you had enough?When will you begin living the life you wanted? Dreamed of? Longed for? Or, have you been all along, but just hadn’t noticed it in full? Give it up! Turn it over! Live this day the way you want – with whom you want – say what you mean – but, DON’T say it mean! Life is short! Remember, your last sunset. Your last words to those closest to you. The last color you saw. The last bird you heard. The last smile you smiled, The last laugh you laughed. The last prayer you uttered. Remember, smile, laugh and move on.
Move on to TODAY! Are you ready? She opened her eyes while lying peacefully in a down covered hammock next to her pond and waterfall oasis, gazed up at the clouds and said – Yes! It’s been a good life! A Full life! I have loved. I have been loved. I’ve colored, created art and captured. I’ve said what I wanted to say, traveled much, walked and hiked often. And I married a man who loved me until my dying breath. I’m ready.
Just then, her eyes closed again, and this time, she had a soft, childlike smile upon her face, the sun was setting in the west with a rainbow of colors like the one she’d seen so many years ago upon Max Patch. As she exhaled her last breath. Finally, Ethel was at peace and rest. – Amen.
Services will be held in the local Catholic Church with On Eagle’s Wings playing as she is escorted to the grave site of her beloved sister, Roxane. All are welcomed to visit now and again. Bring your favorite heart rock and share one with another. Dark chocolate and coffee to be served.