a simple question has rested on my desk for a year or more –
it reads Where am I headed? – a great question. These are my reflections today….
Where am I headed?
Hours turn into days
days into weeks
weeks into months
time, tasks, memories and dreams are all that are left
an invisible bag of dreams
photographic and emotional memories
with no where to go, no where to run – except to God
as I stand at the foot of the mountain or a day of enormous work demands- before I climb – I pause, take a deep breath and pray to the Divine – ‘Guide me – I do not know where or what you want of me – Guide me’
exercising my body and mind – I follow a schedule and take each moment as it comes…
…. when moments of laughter or joy surface – I give in and embrace these as a miracle
when tears fall, I let them flow
at the end of the day, I see that I made it through another day – unscathed, stronger or softer, more open than closed, more grateful than not – perhaps, the answer to the question: Where am I headed? is this – Awareness and Gratitude for all the Blessings seen and felt.
when confined small spaces either mentally or physically cause one to hold their breath
when another way fails to present itself
when the prescribed medication turns into an addiction and you choose to continue to struggle for your memory each day and live, rather than be held hostage to the drug that’s coursing through your veins and wants you to take your life
when the scale has jumped ten pounds and clothing is too tight
when there’s no bread on the bread aisle even though you may not eat it, it makes you cry for those who do
when the rain falls from the sky full of acid and destroys the evergreens
when officials believe the Black lives don’t matter
when others are starving and we have plenty to share even if the bread shelves are empty
when the innocent are incarcerated without evidence or killed because of the color of one’s skin
heart cries out HELP to the one who resides within – and soon the cry becomes a prayer
and one day the prayer is answered by the one within with a question: What took you so long?
relaxed and assured – I know now – Enough is Enough