Good Friday Reflections and more

Tell me what I missed….

Today – I missed the basking in the warmth of the sun

Yesterday – I missed a walk in the evening

A Year ago – I missed celebrating Good Friday with my Mom

Missing the smiles behind the masks, the hugs from those I know and love, and those I like, but know not – yet

All the moments and hugs from my grandsons from September 2020 until now

Life and its fluidity

Making the most of those moments and grateful for the comforts I have – a partner, a home, eyes that see, ability to feel with my heart and mirror the love back that’s been gifted to me.

Prayers that go something like this….

I am Tree

Tiny seed placed in the ground

Watered and nurtured with sunlight

God’s spirit poured out on me

Help me grow a little at a time

Roots clinging to the earth

Filled with the Spirit

Nourished with nutrients to grow

Branches stretched up toward the Heavens

Swaying in the wind

Dancing, singing with birds and bees

Giving thanks to our Creator

Singing songs like I Believe

Thank you – Love, Me

©Anita Adams 2021

Definition of Epiphany: a sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something

Epiphany

This week I’ve had two –both with men, both familial.

The first with my son during a telephone conversation from him, which I listened as he spoke to me about his life, responsibilities, wants and needs. As I listened, what I heard was a type of discontent. And, it dawned on me that this may be what I have often echoed to my own parents, and how sad it must have been for them to have heard this same discontent from me for years. I decided right then to consciously change this language to content, possible and hopeful with all persons one conversation, one day at a time.

The second epiphany came last night when I shared with my father the first epiphany and he listened and looked at me and then said, you must have forgotten how you were as a young girl – I did NOT expect to hear these words or the examples of heart ache he described thereafter. Yet, I listened. I apologized for the heartache I bestowed unknowingly on him and my mother.

And then, I shared my perceptions of what happened in my life at that time. As he listened, and he did, I knew he was hearing my recollection and realization much differently. It was a lot to absorb for both of us. And even as I share this now, I know that we will both never be the same. For me, I will be more compassionate, listen more, talk less, need less, and continue to strive for that balance, that art of contentment.

As Easter approaches, and Lent comes to a close, I will share something I offered up during my Lenten journey with Christ. My Lenten Fast was this – to choose NOT to engage in any negative communication with others or toward myself, and if I slipped up, I would deposit $1 in a jar to be given to an organization for those who are less fortunate than myself such as MANNA FoodBank recipients or Catholic Charities. I may have $10 in the jar to distribute – not bad for 40 days of commitment and what I’ve learned is that this will be an ongoing way of life for me – listen more, talk less, if I must talk, be aware of my choice of words. An acronym for the word ‘THINK’ is this:  Is what you are about to say: Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Necessary and Kind? If so, it’s okay to proceed, if not, it’s best to just listen or move on.

Happy Easter – Spring !

Another day

rain falls outside in the dark

the sound is comforting

the ground is drinking

worms are swimming

keys are tapping

water splashing

another day has passed

it’s dark and time has lapsed

tick tock goes the clock

another day gone

work sucks the energy from me and he

another day inside

deprived of the trees

longing for the weekend

the forest

the trail

the streams

another day

tick tock

Something lost…

trips to see grandchildren, family and friends

hugs

plane rides to Europe

trails to explore without face coverings

movies on the big screen

smiling faces

coffee with friends

going to school

attending live concerts

regular Mass attendance day or weekend

art classes in person

eating out

dressing up


Some things to be REALLY GRATEFUL for…

clean air

blue skies

clear, clean rivers and streams

time to write what’s in my heart

hikes every weekend

a home

running water

Zoom and Duo

heat and air conditioning

a garden

art day

karaoke night

movie night

a good book

photographs, paper, pen, pencil, scissors and glue

mending strained relationships

putting life into perspective

having employment

working with loving individuals

the colours green, blue and pink

yoga

clean laundry

enough food to eat and share

art in all its forms

Hugs

from someone you love

Gratitude for …..

Blue Skies and Stone Treasures

Gratitude for what’s been and what’s now is…

Interesting how the positives weigh out the negatives

Europe in a few Snaps

2020 ends as Winter Solstice

is upon us

followed by Christmas

nights are longer and colder

the Christmas Star makes an appearance when Saturn and Jupiter form a brilliant star as they appear in the night sky.

Clouds part and the skies have been colorful!

Sunrises and sunsets are brilliant!

Will we have a white Christmas with fluffy snowflakes – enough to sled in? It’s everyone’s Christmas wish!

This year has proven to be one of the most challenging in my life and in the lives of everyone I know from Brussels to Washington State, Providence Rhode Island to Pantego North Carolina, every country, city, town and island in-between.

Recently a friend asked a question on Facebook has anyone accomplished anything they are proud of? I answered with the following:

  1. I managed to live a grateful life
  2. to forgive those who have hurt me over and over again for years
  3. to schedule a meditation/yoga hour every morning before going to work at 8 a.m.
  4. to participate in an 8 hour certification class for Reiki Tummo Level II
  5. to listen more
  6. to be more compassionate with others
  7. to paint
  8. sew
  9. play games
  10. spend more time in the woods
  11. to write and converse with the Divine
  12. to attend more meetings regarding recovery and self-discovery
  13. to be an advocate for those suffering with the effects of a prescribed medication such as a benzodiazapene
  14. to create more photocards
  15. to draw more
  16. to be more appreciative of my spouse and co-workers
  17. to be more empathetic to those who have less and struggle more

There’s been many opportunities to love, to give, to share what I have with others, and I have done my best.


What will 2021 bring? I don’t know. What I do know is that praying to God and taking care of myself is essential, if I am to help others.

Planting seeds of kindness and gratitude will produce love the size of sunflowers.

May God bless each of you with health and a heart full of gratitude and kindess.

© Anita Adams 2020

Shedding

stigma

color

smile

laughter

withdrawn

grief

all COVID aches

we ALL feel them

what’s the answer

sit in the uncomfortable

accept that we are all different

our beliefs, our gender, our voices, our collective concscious

the time is here to join as one voice – united

for good, truth, kindness, empathy, compassion, forgiveness

in love

©Anita Adams 10/2020

United in love

Life in the year of COVID

a simple question has rested on my desk for a year or more –

it reads Where am I headed? – a great question. These are my reflections today….


Where am I headed?

Hours turn into days

days into weeks

weeks into months

time, tasks, memories and dreams are all that are left

an invisible bag of dreams

photographic and emotional memories

with no where to go, no where to run – except to God


Trail at Max Patch ~ Anita of NC Trees Photography.com

as I stand at the foot of the mountain or a day of enormous work demands- before I climb – I pause, take a deep breath and pray to the Divine – ‘Guide me – I do not know where or what you want of me – Guide me’

exercising my body and mind – I follow a schedule and take each moment as it comes…

…. when moments of laughter or joy surface – I give in and embrace these as a miracle

when tears fall, I let them flow

at the end of the day, I see that I made it through another day – unscathed, stronger or softer, more open than closed, more grateful than not – perhaps, the answer to the question: Where am I headed? is this – Awareness and Gratitude for all the Blessings seen and felt.

Peace to you on your Journey of Life.

~ Anita 9/2020