a simple question has rested on my desk for a year or more –
it reads Where am I headed? – a great question. These are my reflections today….
Where am I headed?
Hours turn into days
days into weeks
weeks into months
time, tasks, memories and dreams are all that are left
an invisible bag of dreams
photographic and emotional memories
with no where to go, no where to run – except to God
as I stand at the foot of the mountain or a day of enormous work demands- before I climb – I pause, take a deep breath and pray to the Divine – ‘Guide me – I do not know where or what you want of me – Guide me’
exercising my body and mind – I follow a schedule and take each moment as it comes…
…. when moments of laughter or joy surface – I give in and embrace these as a miracle
when tears fall, I let them flow
at the end of the day, I see that I made it through another day – unscathed, stronger or softer, more open than closed, more grateful than not – perhaps, the answer to the question: Where am I headed? is this – Awareness and Gratitude for all the Blessings seen and felt.
Pack a bag with all that I desire for myself and loved ones in the year that follows – a tradition I’ve been celebrating for over 20 years
Red underwear for a year of romance and passion says the Italians
Yellow underwear for health claim the CostaRicans
Mix and match I say
Writing a list of desires and packing them in a bag to walk out into the New Year at the stroke of mid-night with a prayer – an intention in my heart for myself and others packed neatly and carried by my side
A sparkler or popper, firework or two with a piece of dark chocolate and a sip of something sparkling to clink as my love and I greet and love our way into a New Year
2020 – 60 awaits me, I’m half way there – hopefully, healthier and wiser – living my dreams instead of just dreaming them
traveling wherever we would like to go with enough to sustain us and share as we go
When I was young, plans just formed, play just happened, eyes were bigger, hearts and hands opened wider!
Instruments -paper, pen, pencil was best – as long as an eraser was attached at the end. Drawing commenced with my brothers and me – whatever we pleased. Watching Looney Tunes while eating Cocoa-Cocoa Crispies!
What a way to begin a Saturday or Snow Day with chocolate and art at our fingertips!
Art is imagination wide open! A place to explore with paper and pencil, sticks and music by the creek water trickles!
All is possible while looking and listening to one’s surroundings. A piece is created by the art of imagination!
Listening to Joni Mitchell while creating a collage! Two poster boards, magazines, glue, scissors, windows and a jar!
Journal out thoughts – prayers end the day. Then off to bed, dreaming of the next day’s play!
My play days ended far too soon.
However, I still dream of Art on the Side by the light of the crescent moon .
Walking up the sidewalk to a home I used to live in many years ago,
The wooden door swings open and my eyes adjust to what was once familiar, is now quite changed.
As I enter my past home of 18 years, I notice, there are many rooms and hallways.
Winding around a few corners, I stop in what appears to be the center of this elongated home in a narrow room with hardwood floors with white ship lap walls.
The picture-less walls are painted in Navajo White. The room’s contents contain one azure blue two-seater fabric sofa along the right side of the room with a rectangular window above it. There are no curtains. The window frame is thin, black metal.
Just beyond the position of the sofa, is a four-legged antique kitchen table, circa 1960 with a clay red top and a single seam in the middle.
The ceiling, white bead board. There are no rugs on the floor, nothing on the table or sofa. There’s a view from the narrow window of the treetops only and the house is silent.
A friend of mine now lives here. I’m quite surprised at how she has each room designated for a particular purpose. A living room. A writing room. A kitchen. A bedroom, bathroom. I’m asking myself what is this room? It finally dawns on me, this is the waiting room.
This dream of the Waiting Room represents to me a time of introspection, a time to be still, a time to evaluate purpose and direction of life. Is a call to slow down and pause. A time of transition.